After publishing our first draft, Csenge and I were able to identify several improvements that could be made to our thriller for the second draft. With the help of our peers and our teachers, Csenge and I were able to create a list of improvements, each of which should bring improved quality to the opening sequence. Below is the list of improvements and targets Csenge and I would try to correct for our next draft.
- Include the final two scenes of the opening sequence, including the dialogue between the two Tonies as well as the listening of the voicemail afterwards.
- Shorten the multiple shots of Ivan walking to the two Tonies, as this prolongs and weakens the mystery created by the first few shots.
- Include dialogue to add layer of sound
- Feature more close ups of our characters
- Ensure each shot is free of 'wobble'
- Move all titles to bottom left
- Weather continuity needs some work
- Trim the shots of Ivan walking to the exchange
- Use older actors for the Tonies
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